Ein Brief an den US-Präsidenten

Dear Donald J. Trump,

Trump hat das Pariser Abkommen aufgekündigt. Und jetzt? Ingo Arzt versucht, ihn per Brief umzustimmen. Auf Englisch, damit Trump ihn auch liest.

Ein Junge und ein älterer Mann stehen nebeneinander, der Mann zeigt mit seinem Finger auf die Sonne

Was würde Barron Trump (rechts) seinen Vater Donald wohl fragen, wenn er 70 Jahre alt wäre? Und was würde Donald antworten? Foto: reuters

Let’s take a poll amongst all women and men on earth, who is the most powerful and greatest person on the planet. They would say: Donald J. Trump. Yes, Donald J. Trump. You are not only POTUS, the President of the United States of America, the most powerful nation in the world. You are also POTHR, President of the Human Race. I mean it!

I beg you to act as such. Act against climate change.

Climate change is not a hoax, Mr. President, it’s not fake news of the New York Times. It’s your ENEMY. It’s the enemy of the human race! It’s the most important war we ever fought. The BIGGEST story of all. The biggest. We need you, ­Donald J. Trump, President of the Human Race. We need you terribly.

I am not a climate scientist, Mr. President. Climate scientists are weirdos, odd people, so odd! I think we agree on that. Climate scientists have a strange way of talking. Same with Chinese. Strange language! Both of them. No shit.

But let me ask you two questions, Mr. President: What if climate change is not a fake? What if Fox News is wrong?

Everybody loves your son Barron. He is a little sunshine! Even crooked Hillary had to admit it (-; And Tristan, your grandchild, we all LOVE him!

Imagine the year 2077, when Barron and Tristan are about 70, like you now. What if their dad and granddad was the one who brought the fight against climate change to an end? What if their dad and granddad ends up being the gravedigger for millions of people starving to death because of whole countries converting into deserts? You took care of the beautiful babies of Syria. Please, take care of the beautiful babies of the future. BOMB CLIMATE CHANGE.

It’s your choice, Mr. President.

The Paris agreement you have pulled out of was the greatest deal humankind ever achieved together. THE GREATEST! People started to cry for joy, the moment the deal was done. Most of the great Nobel Prize winners in your country cheered as well.

The majority of Americans think that climate change is a big, big threat. It’s HUGE! NASA warns of horrible changes. Your military leaders at the Pentagon warn of tremendous security issues. Almost every other country in the world is concerned. Your business leaders too, even ExxonMobile, ask Rex. The crazy old Pope is concerned. And, most of all: ­Vladimir Putin agreed to fight climate change. Vladimir Putin!

All these people have nothing in common. Except one thing: They need American leadership to fight climate change. They need your leadership. They need Donald J. Trump!

You are a great business person who had tremendous success. You are awesome! And you know, we Germans are tremendously successful business people as well. You don’t like it, but we build great cars and other cool stuff. BMWs, Daimlers, VWs, Kaercher pool cleaners. In the last 28 years, since the Berlin Wall went down (thanks to America!), we created millions of jobs. It’s true.

In fact, Germany is like America. It’s all about JOBS, JOBS, JOBS. We created millions of them and at the same time, ­saved an incredible amount of energy. We get incredibly more efficient. Ask your staff to paint some graphs about German energy efficiency. You will see, it’s the secret to good paying jobs.

It’s a WIN-WIN! You can do business, create jobs and make little Barron proud of his dad. Because you saved his ­future. You like deals? This is the best deal. Ever.

Vor 50 Jahren feierten 100.000 Hippies in San Francisco den „Summer of Love“. Was 1967 in Kalifornien passierte und wie manches davon bis heute nachwirkt: Ein Dossier voller Glück, linker Utopie – und Blumen im Haar in der taz.am wochenende vom 3./4./5. Juni. Außerdem: Trump kündigt das Pariser Klimaabkommen auf. Ist die Welt noch zu retten? Und: Vanille ist so teuer wie nie. Was das für Eisdielen bedeutet und wie aus einer kleinen Schote der beliebteste Geschmack der Welt wurde. Am Kiosk, eKiosk oder gleich im praktischen Wochenendabo.

I think we both agree that George Washington was a great, great person. Truly great! A fearless fighter, like you. George Washington first fought for the British Army. He fought on the wrong side. But he realized it. The rest of the story is the BIGGEST, BIGGEST story in history! He became the father of the United States of America. It’s also your story. The story of Donald J. Trump. A man who always fights for the best. We need you, Mr. President. Without you, we lose the war. We will be total losers. If you oppose the fight against climate change, you are on the side of the evil for the evil. Change sides.

„All civilized nations must join together to protect human life and the sacred right of our citizens to live in safety and in peace.“

You know who said these wise words? It was you! We are counting on you. We need you to lead us to a new independence day: The day we saved the future of our planet! Donald J. Trump: MAKE THE HUMAN RACE GREAT!

Yours sincerely,

Ingo A. Doctor

 

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